Uneasy Rider


Tom: E
I was takin' a trip out to L.A. 
Toolin' along in my Chevrolet 
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Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio 
Just as I crossed the Mississippi line 
I heard that highway start to whine 
      B                                     E 
And I knew that left rear tire was about to go 
Well, the spare was flat and I got uptight 
'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight 
So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim 
I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car 
It was right in front of this little bar 
Kind of redneck lookin' joint, called the Dew Drop Inn 
Well, I stuffed my hair up under my hat 
And told the bartender that I had a flat 
And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one 
There was one thing I was sure proud to see 
There wasn't a soul in the place, 'cept for him and me 
And he just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone 
I called up the station down the road a ways 
And he said he wasn't very busy today 
And he could have somebody there in just 'bout ten minutes or so 
He said now you just stay right where you're at 
And I didn't bother tellin' the durn fool  
I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go 
I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar 
When some guy walked in and said; 'Who owns this car? 
With the peace sign, the mag wheels and four on the floor?' 
Well, he looked at me and I damn near died, 
And I decided that I'd better wait outside 
I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door 
Solo break 
Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin 
These five big dudes come strollin' in 
With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth 
And I was almost to the door when the biggest one 
Said 'You tip your hat to this lady, son.' 
And when I did all that goopy hair fell out from underneath 
Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight 
In Jackson, Mississippi on a Saturday night 
Especially when there was three of them and only one of me 
They all started laughin' and I felt kinda sick 
And I knew I'd better think of somethin' pretty quick 
I just reached out and kicked old green-teeth right in the knee 
He let out a scream that'd curl your hair 
But before he could move, I grabbed me a chair 
And said 'Watch him folks, 'cause he's a fairly dangerous man.' 
'Well, you may not know it, but this man's a spy 
He's an undercover agent for the FBI 
And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan.' 
He was still bent over, holdin' on to his knee 
But everyone else was lookin' and listenin' to me 
And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went 
I said 'Would you believe this man has gone as far 
As tearin' Bush stickers off the bumpers of cars 
And he voted for Bill Clinton for president.' 
'He's a friend of them long-haired, hippie type, pinko fags 
I betcha he's even got a Commie flag 
Tacked up on the wall, inside of his garage 
He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys 
He may look dumb, but that's just a disguise 
He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage.' 
Solo break 
They all started lookin' real suspicious at him 
And he jumped up an' said 'Now, just wait a minute, Jim 
You know he's lyin' I've been livin' here all of my life.' 
'I'm a faithful follower of Brother John Birch 
And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church 
Hell, I ain't even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife.' 
Then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed 
But I didn't wait around to hear the rest 
I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck 
When I hit the ground, I was makin' tracks 
They were just takin' my car down off the jacks 
So I threw the man a twenty an' jumped in an' fired that mother up 
Dale Earnheardt woulda sure been proud 
Of the way I was movin' when I passed that crowd 
Comin' out the door and headin' toward me in a trot 
And I guess I shoulda gone ahead and run 
But somehow I couldn't resist the fun 
Of chasin' them all just once around the parkin' lot 
Solo break 
Well, they're headin' for their car, but I hit the gas 
Spun around and headed them off at the pass 
I was slingin' gravel and puttin' a ton of dust in the air 
Well, I had 'em all out there steppin' and fetchin' 
Like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin' 
But I figured I oughta go ahead and split before the cops got there 
When I hit the road I was really wheelin' 
Had gravel flyin' and rubber squeelin' 
And I didn't slow down 'til I was almost to Arkansas 
Well, I think I'm gonna re-route my trip 
I wonder if anybody'd think I'd flipped 
If I went to L.A. - via Omaha 

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