Transcribed by Rob 
[email protected] 
 
 
 
Intro: 
Gm  D# twice 
  
Gm                            D# 
  I know what you're all wondering 
                         Gm        Gm 
Have Tripod ever been to Japan 
                                  D# 
But you're ignoring a much bigger question 
                                    A# 
Why don't the Japanese have a space program 
                              D# 
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts 
A#                              F#        G# 
  Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t 
              C 
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one 
D# 
  I'll tell you why 
 
 
  
    A#                    F            D#                  Gm 
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut 
                F 
It's those damn fat gloves 
        A#                    F            D#                  Gm 
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav 
                 F 
Cos the tea goes everywhere 
                  Gm 
The tea goes everywhere 
 
 
 
Gm                                D# 
  Japanese culture's always fanscinated me 
                                             Gm 
From their traditions to their modern way of life 
                                   D# 
But all their elegance and rich history 
                                     A# 
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space 
 
 
  
            A#                                   F      D#                 Gm 
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut 
                  F 
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible) 
         A#                  F             D#                  Gm 
And they don't let you use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut 
                F 
You might puncture the suit 
 
 
  
            Gm 
You might depressurize 
F                    Gm       F# 
 Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve 
G#                    C# 
  But it's those damn fat gloves 
                 F 
They're the main problem 
    F#                     C# 
You can't nurture your tamagotchi 
          F               F# 
You can't make an origami swan 
         G#                       A                A#m               D# 
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle 
     D#                        C# 
Well I've tried and they don't let you 
                 F# 
Fucking NASA red tape 
 
 
Interlude: 
Gm  D#   Gm  D#   A#   D#   A#   D#  
 
 
Gm                                          D# 
 I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved 
                                 Gm 
So I threw away my dreams of outer space 
                                D# 
I had to find myself a whole new job 
                                         A# 
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place 
 
 
  
        A#                  F            D#                   Gm 
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ 
                  F 
It's those damned fat gloves again 
      A#                             F                D#             Gm 
Those confounded puffy mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed 
               F 
I'm haunted by fat gloves 
    A# 
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake 
   F 
Or ride a Kawasaki 
D#                  F# 
When you're an astronaut 
         F#(let ring)                              G#(let ring) 
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele  
                                A#(let ring) 
Cos you're not enough of a red herring 
 
 
   
*************************************************************************** 
 
 
Capo 3rd fret version 
 
 
Intro: 
Em  C twice 
  
Em                            C 
  I know what you're all wondering 
                         Em        Em 
Have Tripod ever been to Japan 
                                  C 
But you're ignoring a much bigger question 
                                    G 
Why don't the Japanese have a space program 
                              C 
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts 
G                              D#        F 
  Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t 
              A 
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one 
C 
  I'll tell you why 
 
 
  
    G                     D            C                  Em 
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut 
                D 
It's those damn fat gloves 
        G                     D            C                   Em 
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav 
                 D 
Cos the tea goes everywhere 
                  Em 
The tea goes everywhere 
 
 
Back to verse  
 
 
Em                                C 
  Japanese culture's always fanscinated me 
                                             Em 
From their traditions to their modern way of life 
                                   C 
But all their elegance and rich history 
                                     G 
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space 
 
 
  
            G                                    D      C                 Em 
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut 
                  D 
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible) 
         G                          D             C                   Em 
And they don't let you(Ooooh) use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut 
                D 
You might puncture the suit 
 
 
  
            Em 
You might depressurize 
D                    Em       D# 
 Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve 
F                     A# 
  But it's those damn fat gloves 
                 D 
They're the main problem 
    D#                     A# 
You can't nurture your tamagotchi 
          D               D# 
You can't make an origami swan 
         F                        F#               Gm                C 
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle 
     C                         A# 
Well I've tried and they don't let you 
                 D# 
Fucking NASA red tape 
 
 
Interlude: 
Em   C   Em   C   G   C   G   C  
 
 
Em                                          C 
 I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved 
                                 Em 
So I threw away my dreams of outer space 
                                C 
I had to find myself a whole new job 
                                         G 
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place 
 
 
  
        G                   D            C                    Em 
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ 
                  D 
It's those damned fat gloves again 
      G                              D                C              Em 
Those confounded putty mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed 
               D 
I'm haunted by fat gloves 
    G 
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake 
   D 
Or ride a Kawasaki 
C                   A# 
When you're an astronaut 
         A#(let ring)                              C(let ring) 
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele  
                               G(let ring) 
Cos you're not enough of a red herri