Transcribed by Rob 
[email protected] 
 
Am(palm muted.  Got that same beat as on the real adds) 
Spoken: 
Joining today's modern defense force is hard enough.  First you have to choose: 
Navy, Airfoce, Army, Kiss Army, Salvation Army, Army of Darkness, but even when  
you've chosen, you have to make the grade. 
 
(All chords palm muted for first verse) 
Verse: 
Am			  F 
I'm way too skinny for the Army? 
Am			G 
Way too slender for the job? 
Am		    F 
What can I do if my country doesn't want me cause 
   Am				G 
My talents only stretch to mini golf? 
Am			   F 
I'm way too uncool for the Army 
Am			     G 
All that running through car tyres 
Am			   F 
I guess that would come in handy if you invaded  
  Am				    G 
A country whose terrain was all car tyres. 
 
Chorus:(clean) 
	C 
But I'm skinny and unclever 
      Am 
Maybe now more than ever 
	F			  G 
The technology has caught up with me 
	     Am 
If wars have gone all electronic 
	C 
I could fight them with my joystick 
   F				G 
As long as they bring pizza to me 
			 C 
Then I could be in the Army. 
 
Verse 2: 
Am		    F	    
It's not tricky to imagine 
C		    G	   Am 
Me in a bunker at a screen 
			 F 
Controlling reconaisance robots 
		     C 
Maybe mine detecting robots 
			    G 
Even robots who run through tyres 
 
Chorus: 
	C 
But I'm skinny and unclever 
      Am 
Maybe now more than ever 
	F			  G 
The technology has caught up with me 
	     Am 
If wars have gone all electronic 
	C 
I could fight them with my joystick 
      F				      G 
While watching McLeod's Daughters on TV 
			A# 
Then I could be in the Army. 
 
Verse 3: 
		    F 
I was never good at Pacman 
    C				 A# 
But at Defender I'd light up the skies 
		    F 
I was never good at Frogger 
     C					A# 
It's much to much like hopping all the tyres 
			  F 
And if I don't get in the Army 
  C			     A# 
I could become an evil mastermind 
		      F 
Live in an underwater tower 
    C				   A# 
And wearing shiny skivvies all the time 
		C 
That would be fine 
 
Chorus: 
C 
Skinny and unclever 
      Am 
Maybe now more than ever 
	F			  G 
The technology has caught up with me, (If I could make up my mind) 
   	     Am 
If wars have gone all electronic 
	C 
I could fight them with my joystick 
   F			       G 
As long as they bring pizza to me 
			C 
Then I could be in the Army____.