C                   A                    Dm 
Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical science in the home, 
G                                           C           G 
late nights all alone with her a test tube, oh, oh, oh, oh. 
C               A                    Dm 
Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine calls her on the phone, 
G                                   C      G 
"Can I take you out to the pictures Jo-o-o-oan?" 
    D                               G                  G7 
But as she's getting ready to go, a knock comes on the door. 
 
(Chorus:) 
C                                        D             D7 
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head. 
G                       G7                 Dm        G       C     G D 
Clang! Clang! Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead. 
 
C                    A                      Dm 
Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again, teacher gets annoyed, 
G                               C         G 
wishing to avoid and unpleasant scene-e-e-ene. 
C                     A                       Dm 
She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away, so he waits behind, 
G                               C         G 
writing fifty times "I must not be so-o-o-o. 
    D                                      G              G7 
But when she turns her back on the boy, he creeps up from behind.  
 
(Chorus) 
 
C               A                                Dm 
P.C. Thirty-one said "we've caught a dirty one", Maxwell stands alone, 
G                              C           G 
painting testimonial pictures, oh, oh, oh, oh. 
C                A                           Dm 
Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery, say he must go free, 
    G                                  C           G 
the judge does not agree, and he tells them so-o-o-o. 
     D                                    G                G7 
But, as the words are leaving his lips, a noise comes form behind 
 
(Chorus - with lyrics variation "...upon HIS head...", "...HE was dead...")