Em  A 
 
Em                                                        A 
He's a serious Mister shake his hand and he'll twist your arm 
With monopoly money we'll be buying the funny farm 
B                                             F#m                   A      
So I'll do flips and get paid in chips from a diamond as big as the Ritz 
         E          B      A  
Then I'm calling it quits 
         Calling it quits 
 
Em                                        A 
Eyes the color of candy lies to cover the handicap 
Though your slippers are ruby you'll be led to the booby trap 
B                                                           F#m         A 
And there's no prize just a smaller size so I'm wearing the shoe til it fits 
 
         E          B    A  
Then I'm calling it quits 
         Calling it quits 
B                                     A       G 
Now he's numbering himself among the masterminds 
Cause he's hit upon the leverage of valentines 
B                                  F# 
Lifting dialogue from Judy Collins storylines 
      A    Asus2 A    Asus2     A    Asus2 
Where get-tough girls turn into goldmines 
 
Em A  
 
    Em                        G      Bm 
But oh, those polaroid babies taking chances with rabies 
F#m                 A     
Happy to tear me to bits 
             E          B     A    
Well, I'm calling it quits 
Yes, I'm calling it quits  3x 
            Now he's numbering himself among the masterminds 
            Cause he's hit upon the leverage of valentines